23 days until I hit the open road

29 days until I'm back at Starbucks

Life is happy

Rest In Peace Friend

JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND LEAPS...

Inspired by Kristen , I have created a header.. beautiful isn't it?

The last few days have been weird. The time changed early, and threw me off completely. Remember when you were 5 and the time changed and that one lost hour of sleep really effected you? That's how I felt. Nothing this week seemed normal. Words were funny, thinking was.. well.. not really happening. And life just went on as if everything was fine. I feel so secluded here in this tiny city in northern ontario. From the highway it's a twenty five minute drive into town, down a hill with many turns, into this place of desperation. There's no life or joy here and it really drags on a person. The times I can get out of town are some of my favorite. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful here. Lots of trees, and lakes. Most of the people are nice, but there's a spirit of depression and lack. There's nothing for young people here, and yet the town is crying out for them all to come back. There aren't any jobs, there's no entertainment, and the people my age that are still here aren't into good things. I have never seen so many young, single mothers in my life, and it's sad. I think one of the reasons I have such a hard time here is because I can feel a lot of what people are going through. I love all the sweet seniors that come through my till, or see at the mall, but they're sad. They've lived their lives and a lot of them have nothing to show for it. They're alone, sick, and sad they didn't do more with their lives.

On another note... I move in just a  little over 6 weeks.  It'll be very bittersweet for me I think. I've really closed myself off to getting close to people, and in the last few weeks I've let my guard down. I've built relationships with some amazing girls from youth and in 6 weeks I have to leave that all behind and I can't help but feel like I'm letting them down. Things will all work out though, I serve a big God.. *sings* HE'S A BIG GOD, A BIG BIG GOD. I know everything will be alright.

I knew when I started trying to create a good habit for myself, as simple as it may seem, it wasn't going to be easy. I've made myself more vulnerable, which is good. I've learned a lot about myself in the last two days, believe it or not. I've learned that I rely way too much on key people in my life. And I've also learned that moving back home is going to be way harder than I thought, but I know that it could turn out better then I have pictured in my mind. Some of the people I hold really close to my heart won't be there. One of my best friends will be here in Ontario, the other one is staying in Chicago, and another dear friend is moving to Ontario. Two people I was totally counting on to be there won't. But you know, it's good, really. They both are following God, and I'm going to have to face life alone, just me and God, something I've been dreading. Don't get me wrong, I have other friends I love to bits, it's just not the same. But I"m looking forward to a fresh start, a new beginning if you will, new friendships, school, work.. I'm looking forward to it all. And as lonely as this new season may be, I'm looking forward to it. God is bigger than all my fears though, so He could surprise me.

day two went well!